I talked last week about how things had been a challenge for me recently. Just life in general.
I thought things were calming down, but really I think it was just the eye of the storm passing over, because it started all over again.
This time I wasn't just getting blown off course, I felt like my whole boat had capsized.
Again, it was really just things in life that 'happen', but the last week had a few curve balls, and some of those moments that make you look at the sky and say, "Why? Why right now of all times?"
Sort of bizarre things too, like a dog showing up in my yard with a big gash in his neck who refused to let anyone near him without snapping but would not leave. We never leave our gate open, and the morning it was open for a few hours this dog wanders in.
And why was our gate open? Because one of our horses passed away.
A horse I had spent every morning with the previous week getting back to good health after he stepped on a rock and had an infected abscess in his hoof. He also had a fungus spot growing on his hind leg, so for a week I was out there during nap time shampooing, giving meds by mouth, giving antibiotic injections, unwrapping and checking a hoof, and then, just as he is getting back into tip top shape, I drive by our fence line and find him.
He died from colic. A condition that's similar to when a big dog eats too fast and their stomach flips and had absolutely nothing to do with anything from the days before. We've had a lot of rain recently which made our grass green up very fast, and between that, his old age, and being prone to colic much more than our other horse, it just finally got the best of him.
I checked on him close to 6 pm the night before. Saw him and our other horse grazing in the field, all was well. I am guessing it happened sometime in the night because no one called or came knocking, and I never saw anything that was out of place with him. One day he was there, the next he wasn't.
I don't consider myself a "horse person" and he wasn't a lifelong pet, but it still sucked. Our oldest said it best when she said "Mommy, I'm not crying, but my heart is." I know baby, mine too.
My husband was about 400 miles from the house coming back from a business trip and had called to tell me his tire blew out 45 minutes earlier. So here I am with 3 children, and a deceased horse twenty feet from the street. Thankfully, so very thankfully, we live in a pretty tight knit community and I was able to get someone, even at 9 am on a Sunday, to come move him and someone else to come with a backhoe to dig a hole and bury him.
Which leads us to last nights activities
We went to put flowers on Montana's grave
I asked my big girl to say a prayer, and like any good big sister, she showed her little sister the ropes
If you got to pick your big sister, I don't think you could pick one better than this girl
The mood wasn't quite as somber and dark as I probably sound right now though, the girls were excited to ride in the back of our farm truck (at a snails pace and maybe 50 yards from our house) up to barn
If I had to choose a picture that captured the spirit of our girls, this is about as close to perfection as you can get
(Even if the lighting isn't the greatest)
This might be a close second
"Sister do not put your mouth on the truck!"
"Hey there mama, need a ride?"
Now to end this on an especially positive note because really, I am not trying to drone on and on about the negatives. I know everyone has a lot on their plates, and I know that I am so incredibly blessed that these are the big things when so many others struggle with so much more.
I got my 11 month pictures of this little blessing:
Don't make him use "Blue steel" on you
And my favorite...
Here's to positivity, because you can't have a rainbow without the rain.